“George
Washington’s
Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior
in
company and conversation”
I
heard of this book of George Washington’s from some earlier reading I did on
the man: his intent being for acceptance as a proper gentleman – even from his
young teenage years, when he compiled this list of 110 rules.
People
of our day might scoff at the notion of rules for civil behavior, as manners
have gone out of form, and ‘freedom’ has been twisted into a concept of anyone
being able to do whatever desired, whenever and however deemed best, thus
instilling a society absent any standards, with the absurd belief standards rob
people of their freedom.
In
Washington’s time, however, standards were the norm; propriety was pronounced;
and the vulgar and the obscene were looked down upon and shunned. For any young man of ambition, knowing how to
conduct himself in society was an absolute essential, thus: “Rules of Civility
and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation”.
Many
of these rules, people would view today as antiquated, pertaining merely to the
colonial times in which Washington lived.
The 10th rule, for example, addresses the proper way to sit, “When you sit down, keep your feet firm and
even, without putting one on the other or crossing them.” I am an unfortunate flagrant abuser of
this rule, finding it more comfortable sitting with one leg lying across the
other. Yet, when considering such a way
of sitting from within environments I would perceive as proper and dignified,
would such a relaxed, comfortable appearance be an affront to those people
about me? And if so, is that comfortable
manner of sitting something I should abandon within all environments?
Some
of these rules are clearly of Washington’s time, and difficult to conceive how,
or even why, they could be applied to today.
The 55th rule states one should “Eat not in the streets nor in the house out of season.” With the traditional meal time being
increasingly lessened, and people eating whenever and wherever they so desire,
this rule probably has no place to apply.
And yet, as in the case of the 10th rule, if it had a place
to apply, perhaps the culture in which we lived would actually be capable of
adopting a structure where such ideas made sense.
Other
rules are clearer. People can read what
George Washington applied to himself and see how he was made a better man,
simply on the basis of a few rules for conduct.
The
98th rule states, “Drink not,
nor talk with your mouth full; neither gaze about while you are drinking.”
Even
in our own time, who cares to witness the visible signs of chewed food,
sloshing about within the mouth of a table companion?
The
39th rule instructs, “In
writing or speaking, give every person his due title according to his degree
and the custom of the place.”
No
matter where a person is, if they are speaking with a person who has attained a
certain status, and they fail to reference that status when addressing them, it
is a clear insult, denying the person the respect due from the work
fulfilled. In other words, for a soldier
to call George Washington by his given name George, would be an affront,
denying his status of general and Commander-in-Chief of the Colonial forces.
The
2nd rule declares a prohibition only the truly vulgar would
mockingly argue against, “When in company,
put not your hands to any part of the body, not usually discovered.”
The
38th rule warns against the all-knowing friend being a comfort to
the sick when it says, “In visiting the
sick, do not presently play the physician if you be not knowing therein.”
This
rule specifically addresses the condition of illness, but I believe it could
equally be applied to the busybody who always knows the answer to every
question, the solution to every problem – and especially to those quandaries
not inquired of. Let those who truly
know, who carry some measure of expertise, deal with the matter. You, hold your tongue.
I
acquired this little book during a visit to the Washington D.C. area in
December 2010; and while it took me near three years to open its pages for
study to what levels of propriety the Father of the Country followed, the small
amount of time spent has certainly proven quite profitable – as I hope my
comments have shown. All of us, as we
ford the waters of life, need a bit of guidance along the road, a few
suggestions on how to avoid pitfalls, some prudent wisdom from those who
preceded us on this journey. While these
110 rules can never encompass the totality of the man George Washington was, his
name attached, with the high level of character the man left behind, offer
credence to their value today. If more
people took the short amount of time to consider them, perhaps more George Washingtons
would wander the land today.
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